I might as well just not save any money.

On a whim, I ended up buying a battery grip, the Canon BG-E5, for my camera. I bought it from the camera guys I usually do business with down at Bupyeong. They're nice dudes and they get my broken Korean and I can usually understand their broken English. I know I spent more than I would have back home for it, but I did check out a few places in Incheon and I got it for a decent deal. I haven't really used my camera lately, so I haven't been able to make any real use of the extended battery life. One of the things that I first noticed with the battery grip attached is that my camera is a lot easier to hold. I didn't really think it was a problem before, but the camera's extra size gives a significant amount space for my hand. The grip also makes it easier to hold my camera when taking portraits and the extra shutter button helps too. I'm not sure how this post ended up being a shitty product review on something that no one really cares about, but there are two things that you should walk away from this with:

1. I spend way too much money.
2. If you see me spending unnecessary money then stop me, unless it's on booze because that's okay.

You get 'em, cowboy.

The Top 10 Reasons Why I Love The Jersey Shore

Last night I was put in charge of creating ten questions for a pub quiz. After debating a few different categories, I finally settled on creating ten questions on The Jersey Shore. However, after seeing the results of answers I received, it became apparent that some people are totally unfamiliar with the show. I can understand that you might not just like reality television and think the show's absolute garbage, which it is, but I still love the show though and here are my top ten reasons why (listed in no particular order).

1. It's reality television at it's finest (or worst depending on how you look at it). I enjoy most reality television and probably for the same exact reason other people enjoy it, THAT IT'S JUST SO ENTERTAINING TO SEE REAL PEOPLE AT THEIR TRASHIEST ON TELEVISION. The Jersey Shore takes this to a new level, setting it apart from other reality television series. I mean with cast member drama, fist fights, and hooking up left and right, is there anything more we can ask for from this show?
2. There's just so much hype that goes on outside the show. After every episode there'd be a new wave of articles and blog posts that you could spend more time reading than watching the actual episode.
3. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. If you're familiar with the show, then you know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. It's as if I could quote that guy for days. There's so much that self-absorbed guy has to offer. Seriously, without him on the show, then we'd just be watching Snooki's train wreck relationships for the entire hour, but that brings me to my next reason.
4. Snooki. From the moment she walked into the house you knew that she was going to be trouble. I've said it before, but it wouldn't be entirely bad thing if Snooki had her own show. I can imagine it being a lot like The Simple Life but a lot trashier and definitely more entertaining. She also probably holds the world record for "Most times having a crotch censored on television."
5. Just looking at the people on the show is worth it. It's not just the cast members either, but everyone who's on the show. It's as if your screen turns into some strange window into an alternate reality where normal people just don't exist.
6. The dumb facebook groups and fanpages that my friends join are absolutely hilarious. Personally, I don't really join any facebook groups, but these are a little tempting. Here are three of my favorite ones: the grenade from the jersey shore, Fist Pumping Like Champs, and my personal favorite, The noise Snooki makes when she's upset, "Waaaaaaahaaahaaaaaa!"
7. The fights are seriously worth watching. Can you really think of a more satisfying moment in reality television than when J-Woww punches Mike? Or a moment more shocking than when Snooki is punched in the face? Or a more brutal beat down than when Ronni beats the shit out of that bald dude on the boardwalk? Didn't think so.
8. There's so much slang to learn off the show. I can probably say "fistpumping" or "GTL" to a third of my friends and they'd understand what the fuck I meant by it. Also, I always understood "creeping" as a pejorative term for approaching girls, but the guys on the show seem to embrace it. The next I hear a girl saying that a dude in the bar is creeping I should go over there and give him a high five.
9. Watching the cast members dance is probably one of the subtly entertaining aspects of the show, but it's great. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who enjoys this, but I seriously have had to go back a few times on my video stream just to watch these precious moments over again.
10. I know that I mentioned fighting already and I've probably beaten it to death, but seriously, the scene where Snooki is punched has to be one of the craziest moments on MTV. If you haven't watched the series at all, you should at least watch the first few episodes to see what leads up to this scene.

Star Wars // Adidas

I guess I'm late about hearing this, but I'm not sure if a lot of people have heard either. Adidas has teamed up with Star Wars to release a set of shoes. This is probably the greatest shoe collaboration concept ever. You can scope the shoes out at hypebeast if you were really interested. I personally don't think I'd buy any of them except for Skywalkers. I also wished they used another shoe for the Yoda model, but I guess I can't have everything I want. Anyway, this photo was taken down in Itaewon at the Adidas store.

This one's for Anish.

American Apparel in Seoul at Myeong Dong.

My Korean mother

I do complain about my apartment here in Korea pretty often. I mean, my TV's still broken, I fixed my bed frame myself, and there's no one to help me set up the sliding doors to my kitchen, and the water is unbearably cold in the mornings, but I know that it's really not that bad. In fact, it could be a lot worse. However, I'll never complain about one thing, and that's my landlady. She doesn't speak any English and my minimal Korean isn't enough to really talk to her about anything, but we get along great.

I mention all this because I ran into her yesterday while smoking a cigarette outside my apartment wearing a hoodie, a vest, and my a pair of jeans (low like usual, since it ain't no thang but a g-thang) and it's about -2 Celcius. She came out the door and I bowed and said hello like I usually do. She then proceeded to come up to me and tell me that it's cold in Korean and then zips up my jacket. She then reaches behind me and pull up my pants. This whole time I'm standing there with my hands in the air like I'm being frisked and she's the LAPD meeting quotas. She then looks up and smiles at me and says, "Good-bye," in English and walks off like it was the most normal thing in the world.

This isn't the only run-in I've had with her, actually. A few days after I got back from vacation, I ended up locking myself out of my apartment while I made a quick run outside for a pack of cigarettes. After managing to get her to unlock my door with broken Korean and an unprecedented amount of handwaving, she looks into my room. In general, I'm a messy guy, I would have to say that it's not too unbearable. However, since it was only a few days after I got back from Tokyo, all my shit was still on the ground. Also, since my bed was still broken, my mattress was laying on the floor as well. She starts scolding me in Korean and then proceeds to fold all my clothes laying on the floor. I'm tried hard to tell her that it was okay and that she didn't have to, but she just slapped my hands away and told me to stop it. After folding all my clothes she then does all the dishes I have laying around in my sink. With the help of Alex translating over the phone, I learned that while I'm in Korea, I should consider her my mother and that I should ask her when I need help.

So landlady (I don't even know your name), I know you'll never read this, but I'd just like to say thank you.

The last episode of The Jersey Shore and the reunion

Well, the series is over and I actually watched the last episode and the reunion a few days ago, but I just never got around to it. I guess I needed time to just accept that it was over.

• The reunion episode was fucking ridiculous. There hasn't been a reunion episode this exciting since The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 3. The last real episode though, was just whatever.
• It was weird that they had Angelina there on the reunion episode. I actually think it's weirder that they didn't replace her the day after she left the house.
• Snooki is bat-shit. If anyone started dancing on the boardwalk, long enough for multiple people come up and dance with them, seriously. The freakout she had right after seeing her ex was funny too.
• I don't think it's fair that everyone wasn't able to take hot seat.
• Snooki and Mike making out in the hot tub!?!?!?!
• Not going to lie, but the whole Ronnie and Sammi break-up on stage was fucking hilarious. I seriously couldn't stop laughing.
• I also like when Ronnie seriously let Sammi have it, the crowd started applauding.
• I feel a little bad for Paully D's stalker. She's never really going to live that down.
• The series wrapped up nicely I think. I say that as if there was a script and that it was actually supposed to come to a real conclusion.

The last episode of The Jersey Shore and the reunion

Well, the series is over and I actually watched the last episode and the reunion a few days ago, but I just never got around to it. I guess I needed time to just accept that it was over.

• The reunion episode was fucking ridiculous. There hasn't been a reunion episode this exciting since The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 3. The last real episode though, was just whatever.
• It was weird that they had Angelina there on the reunion episode. I actually think it's weirder that they didn't replace her the day after she left the house.
• Snooki is bat-shit. If anyone started dancing on the boardwalk, long enough for multiple people come up and dance with them, seriously. The freakout she had right after seeing her ex was funny too.
• I don't think it's fair that everyone wasn't able to take hot seat.
• Snooki and Mike making out in the hot tub!?!?!?!
• Not going to lie, but the whole Ronnie and Sammi break-up on stage was fucking hilarious. I seriously couldn't stop laughing.
• I also like when Ronnie seriously let Sammi have it, the crowd started applauding.
• I feel a little bad for Paully D's stalker. She's never really going to live that down.
• The series wrapped up nicely I think. I say that as if there was a script and that it was actually supposed to come to a real conclusion.

Things I currently want for my camera

These are listed in no particular order.

• A battery grip to extend the life of my camera batteries. It'll also make my camera look a whole lot sweeter.
• A hand strap. I'll pick one of these up for sure if I end up buying the battery grip.
• I still want a fucking tripod. It's probably going to have to take a back seat to the battery grip and some other shit, just because I know that I'll be too lazy to lug it around everywhere.
• An external flash unit would be awesome. It's probably what I want the most, but I'm sure that I'll have to wait on it. I also haven't done the proper amount of research that I usually do before buying a product. Looks like this will have to wait.

Although I do know that I want all this shit, it's not like I really should be spending the money on it. I'm currently considering going to Hong Kong for a weekend next month so I should be saving up for that. Then there's those shoes I want to buy too, so I just don't know how this is all going to work out.

That's right, I saw Nuri in Korea. Everyone should be jealous.

It could be the drinking.

I meant to take a one hour nap and then go get kimbap, but I ended up sleeping for six hours and then going to the convenience store for some microwavable hamburgers. I swear, the people who work in there must think I'm a crack addict or something. Good thing they don't know that I teach their children.

I've been sick the past weekend. Not like it's stopped me from doing anything, but it is sort of annoying. I've been sick more times in Korea than I have been in the past three years. The hangover I had Wednesday turned into a fever. Since then, I've had a runny nose and a bad cough, but nothing too bad.

In other news, Marge came up to visit for the weekend. I'm not sure why she puts up with staying at my place, since I'm a pretty boring guy, my place is small and dirty, and I don't actually sleep, but I'm glad she did. It was a pretty eventful weekend with lots of things worth talking about and none really worth writing about. Saturday though, was the most interesting night. We ended up going to Sinchon for some drinks at a language exchange place. We met a bunch of random Koreans and then went to another bar. Then we went to Hongdae for this random club. All in all, an exciting night. We're supposed to go hang out in Bucheon sometime next week (I think).

Also, if you've noticed, there's been a major change in the site layout and the comments section has been disabled for now. It's temporary for now, but I hope to either make my own layout or re-work one of these pre-made ones to suit my needs. It isn't difficult or anything, but it's something that I will probably waste too much time on and my time's better spent at things like Starcraft.

A Korean girl plays a PC game with her feet.

This is a weird video, but I think it's absolutely hilarious.

I can't believe it's almost over.

So, I'm finally all caught up with The Jersey Shore only to learn that the next episode is going to be the last and it will be followed by a one-hour reunion special. The show's just so ridiculous. Anyway, here's a list of things that I found interesting during the last few episodes.

• J-Woww hitting Mike in the face seriously has to be the most gratifying moment in all of reality television history.
• I think that a lot of the people who end up on reality television get caught up with the fact that they are on a TV show. Take for example, Snooki. I seriously can't believe that she's like that in real life. You could probably argue that that's how she just really is, but come on. Even Ronnie and Samantha are pretty normal people, but they do say they're in love and all that. I think though, that Vinny, Pauly D, and maybe even J-Woww haven't lost their grip on reality.
• Although I was saying that Vinny is probably the most normal guy in the house, I might have to change my vote to Pauly D. He does look entirely ridiculous, but he doesn't do anything really crazy or anything.
• I like how they have to censor Snooki's crotch half the time she's sitting down.
• I seriously have to wonder how fun Jersey Shore actually is. It's like they're always at the same two places, Karma and The Beachcomber.
• Why would anyone want to fight Ronnie? He's just a fucking monster. The first fight he got into he got into a full mount and just started beating the shit out of him. I sort of feel bad for the guy, since he doesn't even really start the fight anyway.
• I think in episode 8, the best shot is when Ronnie disappears into the darkness after running back to fight that guy and then the next image is that guy just lying face down on the ground.
• My buddy Ryan said that it would be awesome if Mike had his own reality TV show and I would have to agree. However, I think that it would be more entertaining if Snooki had her own show.

God, I really can't wait for the last episode.

flavors.me

I made a flavors.me the other day just for the sake of making one. It's a pretty neat service since it aggregates all the things things I post on various parts of the Internet. It's weird though, because I use postling.com to post the same shit on different sites, then flavors.me just collects the same shit and puts all into once nice place. Either way, if you want a flavors.me, let me know and I can give you the invitation code.

E-mail me.

You can now reach me at my bitchin' new e-mail address:

joseph@joseph-gutierrez.com

It's actually a little lonely.

I'm finally back at my own desk at Yeonhak Elementary School. I've been teaching my own English winter camp for the past two days. The camp is entirely a plan that I put together the day before each day. It's going pretty well. I'm finally getting to teach what I want, in the way the way that I want, and without the textbook to worry about. I feel like I'm making some real progress with the class, except for one kid. I'm not entirely sure what his deal is, especially because it's a voluntary class and he doesn't have to show up. Anyway, it's been going smoothly. My new co-worker (it almost feels like she's my assistant) is really helpful. The only real problem is that I've already blown through half of the things I've wanted to cover for the entire week and there's three whole days left. I've been trying to waste time too. To take up time today, I made my class do the hokey-pokey, just because I saw it online while taking my break. I'm planning on spending two hours tomorrow just playing basketball and tapeball in the gym though.

When my classes end, I'm here by myself. My co-worker's shift ends and my regular co-teacher isn't here. I've been sitting by myself without any human contact at work for the past 4 hours. I could probably go home without anyone noticing, but I sort of feel that someone is going to come in and check on me right before it's time to go home.

To pass the time, I've spent a copious amount of time smoking cigarettes on the school roof. It's nice though, because there's still about six inches of untouched snow. Unless you're also from a state that never snows and don't go on a ski trip every year, you can't really imagine the amount of fun I've had. Here's a few things that I learned:

• I shouldn't just kick snow unnecessarily because wet shoes eventually lead to wet socks and cold feet.
• I can make a snowball fairly quickly with one hand, left or right. A cigarette usually occupies my other hand. However, making snowballs with two hands is quicker.
• The snowballs I make with one hand aren't efficient as the ones I make with two hands since they sometimes break in mid-air.
• I shouldn't throw a snowball like a baseball.
• I can throw a snowball about 15 or 20 yards.
• Throwing a snowball sidearm is a good way to wreck my shoulder.
• My hands get fucking cold.

Long story short, I've just been training for the massive snowball fight that I'm bound to start at some point this winter.

I'd buy this.

This camera bag is from jill-e.com is probably the greatest camera bag I've seen in a while. It's good looking, guarantees durability, functional, and doesn't look like a camera bag. Too bad it's $240, since for that much, I'm better off saving for another lens.

Another thing I learned in Korean this week:

Hangul/Pronunciation:

• 내 호버크라프트는 장어로 가득 차 있어요/ Ne ho-bu-ku-rah-pu-tu-nun jang-oh-ro ga-duk cha ees-oh-yo.

Translation:

• My hovercraft is full of eels.

This I learned from http://www.lifeinkorea.com/Language/korean.cfm?Subject=phrases

How to make kimbap.

Kimbap, or gimbap, is a Korean dish that's a little like sushi, but isn't at the same time. The name sort of explains it all. Kim means seaweed and bap means rice. Anyway, it's one of my favorite dishes here in Korea since it's so cheap at restaurants. I had to make it with my students at Inju Elementary School for one of their classes. Also, all the students knew how to do this already, so they ended up teaching me.

So first you start off with a square cut of seaweed. This can be bought at most supermarkets in Korea.

Then you take some rice and then spread it evenly across the whole thing. You can be as liberal with the rice as you want, I suppose.

The filling is what makes kimbap different. All ingredients should be cut into long strips like these that are the length of the square of seaweed. Here are some of the normal ingredients that I've seen and that I used:

• Pickled radish. I've never seen kimbap without this ingredient actually. I actually don't like it on it's own, but in kimbap it's okay.
• Egg.
• Spam. I see sandwich meats being used pretty often too.
• Cuts of crab, usually the fake kind.
• Carrot strips.
• Cucumber.
• I have no idea what the hell that brown thing in the picture is.
• Other things I've seen used are tuna and American cheese (one of my personal favorites).

Now, you'll arrange whatever you want to put in the roll on top of the rice. I found that it helps if you try to stack and make it compact, unlike the kid in the picture.

Then roll the thing up. I think that this is probably the most satisfying part of the whole process.

Here is how my two turned out. It's usually cut up into slices and then served.

Here's how it can go wrong.

What I learned in Korean this week:

Hangul/Pronunciation:

• 저는 배고파요./jeonun baegopayo
• 피자 먹고 싶어요./peeja meogo shipohyo.

Translation:

• I am hungry.
• I want to eat pizza.

This took 17 hours in MS Paint.

Momma, I'm going to be an Internet superstar.

So I have this dream, where I become famous on the Internet. Nothing unintentional, like Chris Crocker, but by making a deliberate attempt at becoming an online celebrity. By the way, I've only entertained this idea for a little under two weeks, but I'm surprised it took me so long to get started on this. Especially since I ALWAYS follow my dreams. Anyways, it doesn't really mean much for now, since I don't know how I'm going to go about reaching Internet fame. However, it is the reason why I've registered my own domain:

http://joseph-gutierrez.com

As I've stated in the previous post, I'm not too sure what I'm going to be doing with the site. I just feel that it' a step in the right direction if I'm really going to be taking this shit seriously. For now, it's just my tumblr.

Also, I've decided to invade the Internet. This means posting on multiple blog mediums. I'm currently the proud owner of:

• http://josephgutierrez.tumblr.com
  
• http://joe-gutierrez.blogspot.com
  
• http://josephgutierrez.wordpress.com
  
• http://josephgutierrez.typepad.com
  
• http://www.facebook.com/pages/Joseph-Gutierrez/95380512669
  

As you can see, I like having my name on shit. For now, all these will be pretty much the same. I use postling.com to help me manage all of them, except for my facebook fan page. I forgot I even made that shit before I left home. So, bookmark, follow, subscribe, or whatever the hell it is you do, but just read my shit. You'll be helping me reach my dreams. I know this is all pretty shameless, but I think this is the most hilarious thing I've decided to do in a long time. It's even funnier than when I decided to do magic as a hobby.

IT'S OFFICIAL

That's right. I registered my own domain and it's currently up and running. For now, it just redirects to my tumblr while I look for a host. There will probably also be a few kinks in the next few weeks while I'm figuring out how to run my shit, but it shouldn't be too long until it's finalized. I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing with new piece of Internet real estate, but what I do know is that it's fucking awesome.